Boson Restaurant Becomes Huge Corporation to Qualify for Small Business Grant From Federal Government




Boson MASS – Carolina Sanchez, co-owner of mom-and-pop Mexican restaurant, Cielo Rojo, was devastated when informed that the Small Business Administration’s Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) ran out of funds, leaving her without cash to make payroll.

The program, designed to help struggling small businesses and giant mega-corporate chains who are so big they don't pay Federal taxes, ended up blowing through its $350 billion allotment within days of the program’s opening as computer algorithms designed to get any and all Federal funds were utilized by the big capitalists.  

That’s when Sanchez decided to think outside of the box.



“I grew exhausted from filling out countless small business forms and waiting on hold with banks for several hours to get nothing,” Sanchez  said. “So we re-branded as a huge corporation and the money just came pouring in the very next day. The process was so easy!”

Under its new name, Ruth’s Cielo Rojo Shack, Inc. (technically now with 56 locations across Boson as each employee is preparing meals in their own kitchen is counted as a branch and each table in the restaurant is listed as a franchise), the mega chain restaurant was able to secure fifteen million dollars in PPP funding this week, even though they only applied for a modest $65,000 to cover their labor costs for the next three months.

“I assumed the check would come by mail,” said Sanchez. “I was quite surprised when the US Treasury direct deposit arrived in my account almost the instant I pressed 'send' on the application.  Being a big capitalist is really something." 

Upon hearing news of Sanchez’ success, other small business in Boson also re-branded as large corporations. New names you might find around town include McSeoul Food, Georgie’s Great Clips, Mark’s KitchenAid, Papa Roscoe’s Pizza, and Johnson and Johnson and The Vine.

"Being a small businessperson can be hard, but being a big capitalist is easy.  We have socialism for the rich!" Sanchez concluded.  "Why didn't I see that before?  I spent too much time in the kitchen."

https://web.archive.org/web/20200521205144/https://bosonmassachusetts.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=APq4FmAL0fwN8lTO80HeyoTQQ_w3m6O0vATuDq9X0es0t-bYhiZrhZefgTypUfwG-pvGUnPydFlhdJ3canes0U6Qlddb9OADSxbb9yOTUQrU6MVRUQfZGPQKbzNj-CfA83duShHapKdj&postId=590089816725375093&type=POST

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