Boson Welcomes Sleestak Immigrants – Immigration Agency Officials Say ‘They Will Fit In’ – Eventually

Boson, Massachusetts: Due to a wave of unrest in their homeland a number of Sleestak refugees have been allowed to resettle in the city .   Local officials have assured the citizens and residents that every effort will be made to help the newcomers adapt to life in the Massachusetts.  

Boson's Mayor Marty Welsh has posed for pictures shaking hands with the top Sleestak male to help dispel his image of being 'anti-immigrant.'  

"I welcome all immigrants who come into the city and country through proper channels," Mayor Welsh said.  "We need workers in Boson's fish processing plants.  The work is dirty, and the Sleestak don't seem to mind handling slimy fish, they just need to learn to stop eating the fish as they gut and clean them.  Just eat the innards, not the fish to be processed.  They get paid in fish sticks. It's a win-win situation.  



Special housing is being constructed hastily in the Poorchester neighborhood to satisfy the species needs.  There has been some grumbling that there are homeless people who should be housed first before some reptilian species is taken care of.  



Local hospitals have been adapted to help hatch Sleestak eggs.  A Sleestak female lays one egg a week when in heat
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The Sleestak appearance can be jarring to some sheltered people initially, but the more sophisticated in the Harrad Square area see the cosmopolitan acceptance of the Sleestak way of life as a delicious new culture – right next door.   Some have created Sleestak action figures while others have gotten tattoos or made wooden wall plaques of their new heroes.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The ‘Sleestak Advantage’ as some have called it has manifest itself in the Sleestak ability to play both baseball and basket ball.  Some people collect Sleestak plastic action figures of their Sleestak sports heroes.

Sadly there has been a backlash from some.  Liberal Democrats on the Boson City Council say that Mayor Welsh's support for US President Trump encourages people to hate immigrants of any species. Anti-Sleestak graffiti has appeared overnight on the edges of some new Sleestak neighborhoods.  An exaggerate fear of Sleestak crime is stocked to elicit fear of the Sleestak.  

A populist ‘dog whistle’ has become the rallying cry of the Sleestakophobes – ‘Beware of Sleestak’ has been defiantly scrawled on walls for all to see.  






The Sleestak feel unwelcome and say they commit no more crimes than any other group – but the do eat their victims and make necklaces of their bones which is very upsetting for victims families who have demanded that their dead relatives bones be returned for proper burial and closure. 

Local people who have reached out in friendship to the arriving Sleestak say that they can’t quit figure out were they are from.  


“I don’t know if it was their hard to understand way of speaking, they constantly seem to be growling, or what,” said Bob Johnson who helped cater the fish dinner provided as the Sleestak got off the boat.  “As near as I could tell they came from some out of the way island off the coast of Madagascar.  I guess they are some kind of lizard cousin to monkeys there.”  



Sleestak are very religious and worship a Goddess and Child god who might seem very similar to the Catholic Mary and Jesus.  But the Sleestak child does not grow up to be crucified – he is eaten by his mother as a symbol of eternal love.  The Sleestak consider killing and eating someone as the highest compliment and the greatest form of love.  That worries some neighbors.  Boson's Muslim community has said that Sleestak are 'haram,' but no one can figure out what that means. 

 Government officials and Boson police have warned that anyone who writes anti-Sleestak messages on walls will be arrested for trespass and defacing public property.   Other crimes may be prosecuted as ‘hate crimes’ or cruelty to animals, whichever seems to apply.  

A new post of Sleestak Inclusion has been created at Boson City Hall with a Sleestak head, and the first act of the agency was to issue Sleestak-friendly t-shirts to help people show support for their Sleestak new neighbors.  

(Youtube video of Hollywood movie featuring Sleestak - 2:44 min)