Mass Congressman Joseph Kennedy Crashes Private Plane at Boson Airport - Dodges Assassins (Boson Herod) 24 Sept 2019


Boson MASS:  Congressman Joseph P. Kennedy III had a rough landing in Boson International Airport early on Tuesday. The single-engine Piper Saratoga, a family favorite, landed in a ball of flames after Kennedy had ejected with a parachute  just before hitting the control tower at the airport. 

The other passengers, Kennedy's girlfriend and her sister were killed, a number of air traffic controllers who worked in the tower are also missing.  Kennedy's wife was unharmed, since she is at home with the couple's children.  Kennedy did not report the mishap to authorities or alert them to his survival because he "had to consult with advisors" on how to announce the "tragedy."

Showing his ability to survive Kennedy took to the platform at the Boson Democratic Committee meeting at the scheduled time, and with his hair neatly combed.  "I was born for this,"  Kennedy quipped in the bizarre Kennedyesque accent that people of Eastern Massachusetts are at great pains to point out is not a "Boston Accent."

Kennedy is seeking support for his run to replace the serving Democratic US Senator Edward Markey (D. Mass) or "Markey Mark" as supporters call him. "The old man has to go," said Kennedy. "The time has come for the torch to be passed to a new generation," he said as an aide handed him a flaming torch for a prop. 

Just then a series of shots rang out and people hit the floor knowing that the "Kennedy Curse" had come true again.  An assassin was targeting the candidate.  Kennedy's other girlfriend was hit continuing the "Mary Jo Kopechne Curse"  where women who associate with Kennedy's get killed. 

(See: Marilyn Monroe) Miss Monroe is rumored to have had sexual intercourse with both President John F. Kennedy and his brother Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy before "killing herself." 

Both Kennedy's denied any involvement in the death of the Hollywood star.  Both men were dead within five years.

 After the would be assassin fired the shots the nearby Boson School Book Depository was searched and a WW1 Italian rifle was found. 

The would be assassin ran from the building and went to a nearby movie theater to watch the latest in the "Assassin's Creed" franchise during a Tuesday Discount showing.  His popcorn tested positive for gunpowder residue.

Senator Markey, who has voted for CIA assassinations of foreign leaders, immediately announced that his campaign had nothing to do with the assassination attempt, but eyebrows were raised when the announcement came seven minutes before the would be assassin fired the first shots.  The shooter said that he was delayed because of Red Line trains being stuck at Wollaston Station. 

Senator Markey then responded, "We all need to reduce our carbon footprints.  Who thinks it is a good idea for playboy politicians to pilot private planes around the state.  Why didn't Congressman Kennedy take the Red Line subway train?"  In a later statement he added, "Stop raising your eyebrows!"

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