Boson Welcomes Sleestak Immigrants – Liberal City Councilor Ema Strickland Says ‘They Will Fit In’ – Eventually

Due to a wave of unrest in their homeland a number of Sleestak refugees have been allowed to resettle in Boson, Massachusetts.  Liberal Democrat City Councilor Ema Strickland used her own private charity to seek out the immigrants and urged Washington to make Boson a place that would accommodate the newcomers.    Councilor Strickland has assured Boson that every effort will be made to help the newcomers adapt to life in the country.

As a first step Ms Strickland has urged the city to allow the newcomers to vote in November's mayoral election in which she is a candidate running against conservative Mayor Martin Welsh.  Councilor Strickland has accused Mayor Welsh of being a 'racist' against the Islamic race and Mexican race because of his opposition to immigrants.  Mayor Welsh counters, "I am only against illegal immigration, not immigrants who come through the process and enter legally.  Boson has historically welcomed many immigrants, my own forebears came from Ireland."

"Let's make Boson a sanctuary city for all races, and all species," responded Councilor Strickland.  



Special housing is being constructed hastily near the Eastern Blue Hills Reservation to satisfy the species needs of the Sleestak.  There has been some grumbling that there are homeless people who should be housed first before some reptilian species is taken care of.

When asked about taking care of humans who have lived in Boson their whole lives a visibly angry Councilor Strickland responded, "How dare you, how dare you ask such a question?"  



Local hospitals have been adapted to help hatch Sleestak eggs.  A Sleestak female lays one egg a week when in heat. 

The Sleestak appearance can be jarring to some sheltered people initially, but the more sophisticated see the cosmopolitan acceptance of the Sleestak way of life as a delicious new culture – right next door.   Some have created Sleestak action figures while others have gotten tattoos or made wooden wall plaques of their new heroes.  

The ‘Sleestak Advantage’ as some have called it has manifest itself in the Sleestak ability to play both baseball and basket ball.  Some people collect Sleestak plastic action figures of their Sleestak sports heroes
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Sadly there has been a backlash from some.  Anti-Sleestak graffiti has appeared overnight on the edges of some new East Blue Hills Sleestak neighborhoods.  An exaggerate fear of Sleestak crime is stoked to elicit fear of the Sleestak. 

 












A populist ‘dog whistle’ has become the rallying cry of the Sleestakophobes – ‘Beware of Sleestak’ has been defiantly scrawled on walls for all to see.



The Sleestak feel unwelcome and say they commit no more crimes than any other group – but the do eat their victims and make necklaces of their bones

Local people who have reached out in friendship to the arriving Sleestak say that they can’t quite figure out were they are from.

"I don’t know if it was their hard to understand way of speaking, they constantly seem to be growling, or what,” said Bob Johnson who helped cater the fish dinner provided as the Sleestak got off the boat.  “As near as I could tell they came from some out of the way island off the coast of Madagascar.  I guess they are some kind of lizard cousin to monkeys there.”



Sleestak are very religious and worship a Goddess and Child god who might seem very similar to the Catholic Mary and Jesus.  But the Sleestak child does not grow up to be crucified – he is eaten by his mother as a symbol of eternal love.  The Sleestak consider killing and eating someone as the highest compliment and the greatest form of love.  That worries some neighbors. 

Boson officials have warned that anyone who writes anti-Sleestak messages on walls will be arrested for trespass and defacing public property.   Other crimes may be prosecuted as ‘hate crimes’ or cruelty to animals, whichever seems to apply.

Councilor Ema Strickland urged that a new post of Sleestak Inclusion be created with a Sleestak head, and the first act of the agency was to issue Sleestak-friendly t-shirts to help people show support for their Sleestak new neighbors. 

One note of resistance to the newcomers has been voiced by Boson's immigrant Islamic community.  A local Imam has asked, 

"What do we know about these creatures and their culture and beliefs?  We don't even know if they are Shia or Sunni.  They don't seem to follow halal rules of meat preparation and simply eat their victims after beheading them.  No Muslim would do that."

Ema Strickland helped bring the Islamic refugees to Boson due to fighting between Shia and Sunnis in their homeland.  In gratitude the Boson Islamic Society has endorsed Councilor Strickland's for mayor even though she is an open Lesbian who is married to a woman which is haram under Islamic Sharia.

"Politics makes strange bedfellows," responded the Imam when asked by this reporter.  "It is permitted to make temporary alliances to advance Allah's will and Islam in the House of War."  

Mayor Welsh said, "People who arrived in the US last month should not be allowed to vote in our elections."  

Councilor Strickland released a press statement labeling her opponent in the November mayoral election as "racist."  

"Exactly what race are the Sleestak?" Mayor Welsh asked.  "I look forward to defeating Ema Strickland in November's election.  I do not expect Ema Strickland to learn anything from the experience.  She is an ideological fanatic who can not face the real world."  

"That's simply another racist 'dog whistle' to the mayor's conservative base," responded Councilor Strickland.  

Ema Strickland is the same race as the mayor.  

The Sleestak Society of Boson, headquartered at the 'Ema for Mayor' storefront in Harad Square has endorsed Councilor Strickland for mayor.

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