"Everyone Is Shocked": Boson Globe News Department Hit Hard by Layoffs - Anti-Trump AI Computer Program Fills Void Seamlessly

Boson's 'news organization of record' has announced a series of lay-offs of newsroom staff as a cost cutting measure.

"I'm really sorry," the news division president Susan Smith said Wednesday during an all staff meeting on Zoom.  "There is not a single person who will be missed as we dedicate the next months to the task we have been working on for the last three years - removing Donald Trump from office."

Boson Globe News  was hit hard by a round of corporate cost-cutting that saw "a single-digit percentage" of the network's news staffers laid off, according to an estimate given by network president Susan Zirinsky during a Wednesday afternoon all-hands conference.

The Boson Globe was purchased from the New York Times over five years ago for $100,000,000 by Boson Blue Stockings owner Bob Kraftwerk as a way to dodge taxes.  

Based on the size of the news network — which totals more than 500 staffers — employees did the back-of-the-envelope math and estimated that about 50 staffers were cut, though the network has not said specifically how many were affected.

Critics have pointed out to the staffers that a 10% is not a 'single digit' and were quickly labelled 'misogynistic homophobic racists' who had an irrational fear of Islamization.   

"Everyone is shocked," a Boson News staffer tells The Boson Reporter.  "We always took delight in taunting people in 'legacy' industries like coal mining to 'learn to code' but now we find out that there simply aren't that many coding jobs.  When they hired a computer expert to write a news program that would turn out anti-Trump stories, we all laughed.  How could a computer turn out endless stories against Trump that 'Resistance' reporters could?  Would an AI program have the same passion?  Apparently, the owners think the Artificial Intelligence is smart enough to hate Trump.  Can a computer hate anything?'

CEO Smith  said in a memo earlier Wednesday that management "had to make some extremely difficult decisions" due to "the economic fallout from the pandemic coming on top of the cost savings initiatives already underway from the merger of the Boson Blue Stockings baseball team managers with the Boson Globe editors."   The AI anti-Trump program was expensive, but the costs are in the start up.  Once the program is running the costs go down.  The computer AI does not take breaks, or get sick, or have children.  There is no 'health insurance' for Artificial Intelligence.


The exec was apologetic and sympathetic during the network's post-cuts meeting, according to multiple staffers on the call, explaining the rationale for the cuts and engaging with the human cost of the layoffs.

"There isn’t a single person leaving who did a bad job, everyone hated Trump with a passion" she said. "It’s economics. It is absolutely the financials that has forced us to make these decisions. ... I’m really sorry. There is not a person who won’t be missed.”

Some have vowed to carry on the campaign to oust Trump, but say it is not the same when one is not being paid.  Volunteer activists are notoriously impoverished.


The Boson Globe News was the first Massachusetts news network to have confirmed cases of the novel coronavirus among its staff, telling employees to work from home on March 11 after two employees tested positive after going to a senior nursing home to warn the elderly that they should be very afraid and it was Donald Trump, and to a lesser extend the UK's Boris Johnson, who were responsible for their impending deaths from COVID-19. 

The news organization has continued to aggressively spread of the warnings of the pandemic and saw the death toll rise everywhere their reporters went. 

"It is hard to come to an organization and make cuts when you have stepped up to the plate and delivered," CEO Smith said on the staff call. The exec said that management "tried to spread word of Trump's failures to every corner of the city."

"Ultimately Donald Trump is responsible for the loss of the jobs at the Boson Globe," Smith concluded.  "Maybe when Trump is removed from office by November's vote we will be able to get these jobs back."

As of this writing the Boson Globe AI is predicting a Trump defeat in November 2020. 

Laid off staffers are not going to 'learn to code.' 

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