Biden Mars Photo-Op at Boson Redstockings Baseball Game - Starts Sniffing Hair of Cut-Out Fans

 (AP) Former Vice President and current front runner for presidency, Joe Biden threw out the first pitch for the Boson Red Stockings season opener at Boson's Fenwick Park.  Biden wore a face mask and everything was going as planned as the game progressed.

Then Biden struck. 

Horrified aides turned to the television monitors to see an elderly man in the stands wandering around sniffing cardboard cutout fans.

"At least it's only the female cut-outs," one clearly exasperated aide said.


In order to give a feeling on 'normalcy' the empty stands had been loaded with card board figures to make the look on television seem like fans were at Fenwick Park.  A fake 'crowd roar' sound had been added to the telecast and streaming.

Biden had wandered away while the campaign officials were giving the talking points they wanted the main stream media to cover.  As the 'reporters' were writing down the talking points they should include in their narrative someone notice Joe Biden had escaped.

On a monitor they saw the maskless Biden wandering around the empty stadium talking to 'voters.'  Officials promise that no mail in ballots have been requested for the cardboard people.

Biden was doing his traditional 'in person' retail politicking. 

"Well, hey, there, little lady," Biden said as he sidled up next to a "pretty little thing." "Is anyone sitting here? I'm not into all that hugger-mugger social distancing hoeey, no sirree." He offered her a pretzel and some nachos, but she was pretty unresponsive. "The quiet type? Fine with me. You can just sit here and watch the game with ol' Uncle Joe, toots."

A young aide approached.  "Please stop, Mr Vice President."

"Look," a visibly angry Biden replied.  "I am reaching out to voters in a way they can understand.  I can't be all 'touchy feely' with voters while I'm at home in Delaware in my mansion.  No one is allowed in there.  I have to meet the people where they are.  Women voters love me.  I connect with them."  

"I don't want to go back to the basement -- just let me have my fun!" he cried. "I feel happy when I'm campaigning to unseat Trump.  Why won't he act presidential?"

To prevent further incidents, aides have placed multiple cardboard cutouts throughout Biden's basement for him to sniff.

Biden Sniff Compilation 

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