Boson Biker Convention Holds Informational Seminar On How To Dominate In Bar Fights - Disrupted By Fighting

 (Reuters) After the failure of the Boson City Council President Ema Strickland to halt the annual summer gathering of motorcycle clubs from across Massachusetts Southern Shore numerous events and rallies were held across Boson.  

Motorcycling Research Symposium opened on Thursday, 13 August 2020, with experts presenting on cutting-edge advancements in bar fight weaponry. 

Some worried that allowing the bikers to bring cases of beer into the event to drink during talks and slide presentations was asking for trouble.

Others said it was all part of the ambiance. 

“What really stunned me was seeing how far we’ve come with analysis of, say, the hurt you can put on some bastard using a broken pool cue versus a shattered Jack Daniels bottle,” said Dr. Alex 

“Dog Breath” Wallace, one of the nearly 500 leather- and bandana-wearing intellectuals of the motorcycling field who attended this year’s symposium to exchange data on spitting a mouthful of Old Milwaukee into a rival biker’s face before putting your knee in their balls as well as conversing about the relative merits of slamming a bar stool down on some cabrón’s head to scare off his chickenshit gang. 

“I’ve been coming to seminars at the Boson Rally since ’93, and it’s always stimulating as hell to see the forward leaps we’ve made in the best way to beat down some high-on-his-chopper prick who just rode into town on his first Super Low and thinks he’s hot fucking shit. For example, my colleagues from Quincy gave a sterling presentation about the advantages of putting out your lit Marlboro right between some goon’s eyes and then slamming a shot glass down on his head. It’s exhilarating, and, frankly, I can’t wait to put some of these discoveries into application on the first dickless fuck who looks at me the wrong way.” 

 

 

At press time, the  Symposium had had briefly adjourned after a brawl broke out between a number of a attendees in several sections of the hotel function room.  The meeting was adjured and moved outside to the Off Ramp Hotel's parking lot.   

Boson Police reported that the motorcycle rally's first event was "mostly peaceful." 


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