Boson City Hall Crisis - Who Isn't Flushing?

Boson, MA:  Sargent Bill Smith was ordered by his supervisor on Monday to determine the party responsible for not flushing the second-floor unisex toilet at Boson City Hall.  The area is not open to the public and is basically used by elected city councilors and the mayor.  

"Someone in city hall has been neglecting to flush after going to the bathroom," said Sgt. Smith, "And I've been put in charge of finding out who that person is."

(Numerous Male City Councilors Have Denied Not Flushing)

According to secretary Shelley Grabisch, three times in the past two days, various city councilors have attempted to use the second-floor bathroom, only to discover toilet paper and fecal matter still in the bowl.

"It's disgusting," City Council President Ema Strickland said. "It's been particularly bad the last few days, but it's been going on a lot longer than that. We're talking at least every other day for a month."
The unflushed toilet has dominated office conversation of late, with city hall officials trading anecdotes and details of their own encounters with the toilet, as well as airing their own theories regarding who the guilty party may be.

Some speculate that the lack of flushing is a form of sexual harassment.   Most of the people who are off-put by the mess are the women on the second-floor.

(Women Councilors Feel That They Have Been Targeted)

"Mayor Welsh thinks it's a big joke," said Ema Strickland.  "He laughs every time the subject is brought up." 

"Everyone's very curious about who's doing it," said Sgt.Smith. "It doesn't really make sense: How could you forget to flush? And if the person is doing it on purpose, why? What could they possibly have to gain by leaving that kind of mess?"

"At first, I figured the fecal matter was being left there because it was too big to be flushed," Tepfer continued. "But every time it's been discovered, it's gone right down without a problem. So we're not even talking about a situation where somebody clogs the toilet and then runs away in embarrassment."

Sgt.Smith has begun checking the toilet at regular one-hour intervals, but he has had little luck. At 1 p.m. Tuesday, he checked and found it properly flushed, but 10 minutes later, a coworker called him back to the area to show him the toilet filled with copious amounts of toilet paper and bodily waste.

"I could hang around outside the bathroom and try to catch the culprit in the act, but I'd pretty much have to be there around the clock," Sgt.Smith said. "Besides, everybody knows I've been assigned this task, so the guilty party probably wouldn't even use the bathroom if they saw me nearby. I've also considered directly asking everyone, but I just can't imagine what I'd say."

Sgt.Smith said he believes a sternly worded sign reminding employees to flush would be an effective measure. However, he noted: "An entry in the employee handbook clearly states that, 'In order to maintain a professional atmosphere, no paper or cardboard signs are to be posted in or around any shared employee areas, including the break rooms, hallways, or bathrooms.' So, unfortunately, that's out."

Sgt.Smith was assigned the task of identifying the non-flusher by his direct superior, service-department manager Milt Trautwig.

"Milt stressed to me that, with only two bathrooms serving all 44 employees in the city hall, it is imperative that both are in full working condition at all times," Sgt.Smith said. "He also said the smell is really bothering the accounting department, whose area is right across the hall."

"I've gleaned that it usually happens in the early afternoon," Sgt.Smith said. "They're probably doing it right when they get back from lunch."

"Really, it could be anyone in this whole building," Sgt.Smith added.

Despite being given the task less than 48 hours ago, Sgt.Smith is already feeling the pressure to root out the guilty party. Yesterday, he received a lengthy e-mail from longtime city councilor Rebba Raeder complaining that the situation is "causing huge problems" among her staff.

"Not only is it unpleasant," Raeder's e-mail read in part, "it is cutting into valuable work time, as members of my team are forced to wait in long lines for the first-floor restroom due to the recurring problem in the restroom they normally would use. It is my sincere hope that you can remedy this situation soon."

Thus far, Sgt.Smith has received nearly 30 e-mails from workers and city councilors expressing their feelings about the situation.

(Boson Mayor Marty Welsh)