After Armed Stand-Off With Massachusetts State Police - Boson 'Game Stop' Forced To Close As Non-Essential Business


(UPI) After repeated warnings that all non-essential businesses must close Massachusetts Governor Charles Baker ordered State Police to close Boson Game Stop by armed force.



Just before noon on Monday, 23 March 2020, a large contingent of police and SWAT teams broke down the doors of the storefront business.  A sign was affixed to the window and the staff were led off in handcuffs.

"You can't stop us," the manager screamed as he was pushed into the back of a police wagon.  "The games will go on.  We'll just hit 'replay' and start all over.  We are legion!"

Other employees were more subdued and one clerk told this reporter that they were forced to come into work or they would be fired even though workers did not want to be exposed to the CORVID-19 pandemic germs.


The corporate headquarters of Game Stop had issued a strange memo to all Game Stop locations instructing staff to tell police or health authorities that Game Stop was 'an essential public service.'  The corporate heads pointed out the electronic devices Game Stop stocks that may be used to enhance computer use as a way for people to work from home as they telecomute during the crisis.



When given the company issued document claiming that Game Stop was an essential service the police commander responded, "Tell it to the judge."



A feeling of helplessness engulfed the staff as they were hunkered down in the storefront with the SWAT team outside.  Most of the workers and managers had spent their life fighting battles online and thinking of themselves as superheroes with super powers.  That was who they were.  But when faced with armed police they realized that all the controllers and special headsets in the store were actually useless in the 'real world.'  The only power Game Stop had was the ability to take money from customers to give them games to play.

One staffer observed, "We need a game that pits armed police against unarmed Game Stop employees!"  He added, "we can still get Unemployment Benefits even if we were arrested at work, right."




Police were soon dispatched to another part of town as a Fanny Farmer candy shop was refusing to close claiming that double dipped fudge products were a necessary food product for their customers making them an 'essential service.'






While local health workers have reported widespread lack of supplies such as respirators, surgical gloves and face masks, Boson Police assure the public that the police are fully stocked with gloves, masks and plastic zip lock handcuffs.

"We can handle any emergency and have taken the local Daenerys Targaryen Middle School indoor basketball court and turned it into a makeshift jail.  We have lots of room for anyone who fails to follow emergency orders."  He added, "Please stop waving US Constitution booklets at the police.  The Constitution is suspended during times of crisis."





Governor Charles Baker urged all Commonwealth citizens and residents to "Support your local police state!"









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