Exam School Boson Latin Students - More Likely to Summon Demons In Later Life Using Latin

Boson MASS—Saying the classical language was a practical choice for anyone interested in awakening the dead, a new report released Thursday by the University of Massachusetts at Boson found that students who take Latin have a better chance of summoning a demon later in life.

While there has been some debate about whether Boson should have 'exam schools' where students who score at the top of the test get in, others have questioned why anyone would study 'dead' languages like Latin, and Ancient Greek as has been done for hundreds of years at the Latin schools of Massachusetts.

Others have questioned why the root languages of Western civilization and colonialism are featured and honored in an increasingly cosmopolitan city, state, and nation.

But there is a side that people who call themselves Pagans, or Satanists, see Latin as an advantage in casting ancient spells.  Perhaps the effect is only psychological.  These people are just fooling themselves, but if they get some comfort from calling a dead relative back to life, or summoning the spirit of a sleeping neighbor, what's the harm.  

“According to our data, children who studied Latin in  Boson's exam schools like Boson Latin, and the previously 'all girls' Latin Academy were far more likely to contact, summon, and then raise a damned soul from the underworld,” said classics department chair Emily Greenwood, adding that students who learned Latin tended to be more adept at chanting ancient incantations, opening up portals, and comprehending Demonic screams.

“On the whole, young people who studied root languages like Latin had a much easier time communicating in tongues, and could sometimes even convince spirits to do their bidding. However, those who didn’t were more prone to lag far behind their peers and often died at the hands of a bloodthirsty, vengeful succubus.” Greenwood added that while knowing Latin provided students certain advantages in summoning demons, it had absolutely zero bearing on their ability to send them back to Hell when they were done."

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