Boson, Massachusetts

  Park Rangers and Boson Police are at a loss to explain the construction of a gingerbread monolith that is about 12 feet high.  Authorities laughed when the connection to the movie '2001 A Space Odyssey' was pointed out by this reporter.    "I don't think you need a space ship to make a gingerbread structure," one ranger said.  "There are supplies in almost every supermarket around Christmas time."   The structure was not taken down immediately since Boson Public Works was on Christmas holiday and a permit had to be taken out for anyone else to remove the structure.  As of press time park rangers are reporting that birds are pecking at the edible gingerbread to eat. 

  A fishing boat carrying 23 Dominican nationals came ashore Wednesday in Massachusetts, U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials said. The small, open-bowed panga vessel made landfall around 4 p.m. near 55th Place and Ocean Boulevard, less than four miles from downtown Boson, Border Patrol spokesman Jaime Ruiz said. Its occupants, 21 men and two women, including two juveniles, identified themselves as citizens of the island nation and were taken into custody by Border Patrol agents. No one was injured during the boat landing. Migrant vessels don’t typically land on Massachusetts northern coast, Ruiz said, noting they mostly come ashore farther south, near the southern tip of Florida.   While all of the passengers where wearing life jacket flotation devices, they were cited for being out of date or wore and not up to US code.  All of the migrants were placed in zip tie hand cuffs for the Border Patrol agent's safety.   As the Customs and Border Prot...

  A mysterious monolith popped up in the Quincy Quarries Reservation and was spotted Saturday, disappearing just a few hours later. The 8-foot monolith was surrounded by what looked like a 100-foot crop circle made in the snow, said Patrick Geoghegan, 37, who was able to capture photos of it before it disappeared.

  Boson Public Works Dept Asks Residents To Remove 'Space Savers' For Allegedly Shoveled Out Parking Spaces

 Angelina Jolie 'zombie' statue toppled by outraged Black Block Anarchists.   Tearing down statues has become a new frontier in US culture wars.    However, the installation found few fans in the local community, with social media users fearing that its blank stare and alien-like features would scare children. One user wrote that it was “more like a monument dedicated to the victims of COVID-19. It’s a pity that they didn’t put it at the entrance to the Boson City Hospital.” Others said it more closely resembled rock singer Marilyn Manson or a “Zombie Angelina Jolie,” and the statue quickly became a meme on  social networks. Boson Mayor Marty Welsh, added his voice to those complaining about the installation, saying “yes, it’s creepy. The eyes are like those of an extra-terrestrial.”

 Mayor Welsh has irked his opponents on the Boson City Council and the Green Party, which has no members elected to the city council, by declaring last week's snow day as 'Global Warming Day.'  The mayor said through his mask as he left Boson City Hall yesterday that he was sick of freezing Decembers.   "When is this imminent global warming coming to New England?  When? AOC says we have ten years left to live, and that was last year.  When are we going to get the promised sub-tropical climate in Massachusetts so Cape Cod can become the new Florida."   "Simply outrageous," said City Council President Ema Strickland who is openly gay.  "This borders on genocide. But, we do need to look into increasing heating subsidies for the poor and low income.  We've had a string of colder winters.  I've had my heat on since October 1st.  So, I feel the pain of the poor."  

  The latest addition to a Christchurch park has left people scratching their heads. The global "mystery monolith" trend has reached Boson, Massachusetts, with one of the geometric sculptures spotted at the low tide on the Boson claimed Half Moon Island.  The City of Quincy also claims Half Moon Island in a dispute going back to colonial times in the 1600's.  Read More - Monolith of Lost Boson Mayoral Votes Appears In East Blue Hills Dry Gully The Boson Department of Public Works  has asked the public for help determining what the structure was and where it came from. A spate of tongue-in-cheek theories from Facebook users followed. One person said it could be a marketing campaign, another person guessed it could be a "6G mobile tower" while another said pseudonymous UK-based street artist Banksy could be behind it.  

  Going Postal In Boson Snow - 18 Dec 2020

 Mass Gov Charles Duane Baker Jr Says Hundreds of Snowbound Cars Stuck on Southeast Expressway/I93 Must Shelter In Place 

  Boson Hosts PBS Adaptation of Dicken's Xmas Carole on Zoom Theatre   As the festive season approaches there is, inevitably, a new adaptation of a Christmas Carol on Massachusetts public television station WGBH and simulcast on Zoom. In an attempt to distinguish itself from the 697 other adaptations of a Christmas Carol currently available, this one will be set in Boson, Massachusetts during the colonial era of the Commonwealth. Something with old fashioned hats like from Thanksgiving, and blunder buss rifles that are more of a danger to the person shooting than the target. “Whilst we are big fans of the original story, we feel that this new interpretation of the classic tale could really make it relevant for a new generation,” is definitely the sort of thing a station executive would say about a new adaptation of a Christmas Carol. The new version will feature Scrooge as the quintessential 'angry white male.' Scrooge will be the only wh...

    Boson Prepares For Major Winter Storm - No Parking On Odd Side of the Street For First Half of the Alphabet - Even Side For M thru Z - Strictly Enforced!

  East Blue Hills Cat Litter Mining Equipment Drafted For Snow Removal in Downtown Boson

  (AP) —Massachusetts has announced a bold new initiative: all rockets produced or launched in the state must run on wind power just ten years from now. Governor Charles Duane Baker Junior claimed the executive order was guided by SCIENCE and MATH. "We are following the SCIENCE here!" Baker said. "We are once again leading the nation with initiatives that other states are too slow to initiate.  Republicans and others who deny science in states like Texas and Florida say they are pro-business because they have primitive technology like electricity, gasoline, and cars, but really, they just want the world to burn." "With SCIENCE on our side, we can go where no man has gone before, fully powered by green energy like wind and solar." Early wind rockets have been unsuccessful, as the first one just fell over and then blew into Quincy from the launch at the top of the East Blue Hills.  A rocket launched near the coast got stuck in a large tree and th...

  Boson's Anarchist Collective is now backtracking on the toppling of the wooden carved Penis in the East Blue Hills State Reservation.   "We did not realize that the structure was created by Native American Indians until we were contacted by Senator Elizabeth Warren's office," said Comrade X on a Zoom call.  "We also did not realize that it had become a Gay cruising area in recent years, either.  We would never infringe on the rights of the Marginalized Gay Community or their right to be marginalized together for a hook up."     "Maybe we can help Senator Warren set the Penis upright at the next Pow-Wow," he added.    

(AP) In a development that could end the stalemate of the Boson, Massachusetts, mayor race a stack of ballots has been found in the East Blue Hills Reservation.  The approximately twenty foot high tower of votes is being guarded by Boson Police under the direction of current Mayor Welsh, the State Police under the direction of Massachusetts Governor Charles Duane Baker Junior, and also the Boson Sheriffs Department which has a leader friendly to Democratic Party challenger City Councilor Ema Strickland.  Some say the officers are in a nervous stand off. No guns are drawn.